Our Web Developer Went to a Benefit for Underprivileged Children and All We Got Was This Stupid Article

By Shea Scott

Although my Hottest Plate writing mostly consists of javascript and snarky text messages, I have been granted the authority to report on the 33rd Annual Taste of North Texas. The editorial staff were eventually swayed by my argument of, “Come on y’all, The Beatles let Ringo write a couple of songs.” Consider this my “Octopus’s Garden”.

The Taste of North Texas is an annual fundraiser for the Denton Noon Kiwanis Club Children's Clinic. The clinic provides as many as 500 underprivileged children each year with medical, dental, and prescription-drug coverage. I was already sold on the $25 ticket price for all-you-can eat food to support a worthy cause, but then I saw this on the website: “if you have never attended, we can promise you that you will not be disappointed.” I had never attended ergo sequitur, I would not be disappointed. Carpe Diem my dude!

After arriving at The Golden Triangle Mall and getting my wristband, I picked up a plate and got in line at the closest vendor’s table. I knew that the first tool a reporter needs is a notebook. Fortunately for me, my brain is perfectly capable of remembering everything I might have wanted to write down. Every morsel would be locked in the mind palace, enabling me to pepper this piece with juicy descriptions of gustatory delights. Unfortunately for you, my brain is also perfectly capable of overestimating its abilities in the memory department. 

So, while I can’t regale you with all of the sensory details that would probably make this post enjoyable to read, I can tell you that my initial strategy of just going to the next table of food is not advisable. After feasting on finger foods from four tables (I used alliteration!), my prefrontal cortex kicked in and told me I needed to do some scouting before I became engorged on things chosen solely on the basis of proximity to my pie hole. 

With over 40 vendors serving everything from ice cream to pizza, it took about 20 minutes to make the rounds, side-stepping the occasional sugar-saturated child, and stopping to listen to the impressive Braswell High School Legacy Jazz Band. After careful consideration, the treasures that made the cut for consumption were a lettuce wrap from Royal Yum, a chicken birria mini tostada from Milpa, and despite being already quite full AND knowing exactly what it would taste like, a pork rib from Rudy’s BBQ.

The official people’s choice awards haven't been announced yet, but my votes went to Milpa for the chicken birria mini tostada and Cookie Conundrum for their cinnamon roll cookie. I’ll leave the fancy adjectives to people with English degrees, but you can be assured that all the foods and beverages had a variety of colors, interesting smells, and different tastes. Most importantly, I was not disappointed.